July 2011
4 posts
Anonymous asked: which bars are the best for fake IDs?
Cat
Overheard on Gardner Street near Chester: “I just want to know what’s going on in my cat’s head.”
November 2010
1 post
4 tags
“if anything could have gone worse, it would be 9/11 again.”
– Overheard on Gardner Street
October 2010
14 posts
3 tags
“I need an ambulence dude, fuck, not a cab, an ambulence.”
– Overheard on Ashford
2 tags
Keg's Last Stand
I saw a kid dressed as a keg get beat to a pulp on Gardner Street.
3 tags
Parking Ticket
I walked by a broken and shattered television on Gardner Street on Sunday. At first it looked normal but I did a double take and there was a parking ticket on it. After further inspection i found out it was for not having a allston/brighton permit.
Damn you BPD.
2 tags
Always Have a Backup
Last night I texted my standard booty call. drove drunk to pick her up. She made a fuss and made me drop her home. I was mad and wasn’t satisfied so I picked her friend up 15 minutes later and fucked her instead.
only in Allston
3 tags
Slapped
“so i asked him how it happened and he said, ‘I said, batters up!’ Kapow!”
“THATS HOW HE COCK SLAPPED HER???”
Overheard on Gardner St
On Cab Drivers:
allston:
I often wish I didn’t have to say “Allston” as my destination at 2AM when wasted ever, because cab drivers know that’s easy money.
booksonbooks asked: Hey Allston Anonymous, wanna come to Allston Rat City's party Saturday?
The infamous Allston King of Karaoke, Johnny D walked into my house during band practice and asked if we needed a singer. He then proceeded to pull a bowl out of his pocket and asked if anyone would smoke him up.
“I hate waking up in Allston. It’s like waking up in Vegas.”
– The Raptor Walk (via theraptorwalk)
3 tags
“I Just pooped Old English”
– Over heard on Wadsworth
3 tags
Crack
Saw a guy walking down Gardner St. wearing a shirt that read “I only date crack whores”.
2 tags
Camp Fire
I went to a party last night and in the backyard they had dug up a ditch, tossed in some fire wood, and had them selves a little make shift bbq.
only in allston
2 tags
Blackout
I kept receiving texts from a guy who was blackout and at the same party as I was. He even walked right past me a few times.
Gandalf
Windows open. Courtyard relatively quiet. All of a sudden:
“YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAASSSSSS!”
LOTR references at 8:30 means the beginning of a good night.
September 2010
36 posts
3 tags
Delivery Service
My roommate walked into my room last weekend with a girl in his arms. Dropped her on my bed. muttered “have a good night” and closed the door behind him.
Only in Allston
“child: mommy, when we go back to china can you buy me the turtle i really want?...”
– harvard avenue, allston massachusetts. (via 5sthoughts)
I saw a limo today in Allston.
Biggest mystery of my entire life.
Anonymous asked: yo dude i live in allston can we party together?
3 tags
Lawn Sale
While walking down Ashford street, I saw lawn chairs and a table being thrown from the second story balcony of a house onto the street. Then another kid sprinted, picked up a chair, and ran down the street into a house.
The owner of said lawn furniture did not seem pleased. Only in fucking Allston
3 tags
I was walking down ashford street last night and some dude slaps my ass. Mind you I’m a guy. I turn around and said “WTF man?” and he looks at mr and says “it’s Allston man”….
Bad Kitty
While at dollar draft night a homeless man hung in the window, normal, right? But this homeless man topped his trucker hat with a pair of cat ears… he meowed.
3 tags
“i met the devil, he lives between the legs of every woman”
– Overheard in Allston
2 tags
“i met the devil, he lives between the legs of every woman”
– Overheard in Allston
3 tags
Paper or Plastic?
I saw a guy walking his dog on Brighton and his dog popped a squat in front of the Hess Station. The guy looked a bit perplexed, he didn’t have a bag. But he looked around him and there was so much trash on Brighton that he picked up a random bag to clean up after his pooch. Thank god for Allston trash…..
“I’m down to see some dick.”
– Overheard on gardner st
Guys,
allston:
There’s blood on my front doorknob. I think that means we had a good party.
3 tags
“Why did you do that? Your arms weren’t that hairy!”
– Overheard on Gardner st
3 tags
!!!!
Every time I close my door in my new place the fire alarms go off. When I open the door they turn off. Damn you Allston
2 tags
Look out your window!
Around 3AM last night a friend calls and tells me to look out of my window. There was a giant pool of blood on the sidewalk. Apparently someone got stabbed and just laid there for a while. Only in Allston
2 tags
Oops
Last Night a bunch of random girls I picked up off the street came back to my apartment. I totally thought “score” but 10 minutes in one of them puked all over my new couch.
Thanks Allston.
2 tags
Dearest Shitty Allston,
allston:
Last night I walked up Pratt and down Thrashford, through Allston and Greylock and Glenville, and I was SORELY disappointed. The streets were barren.
Where were the half naked freshman girls for me to worry about? Where were the men smashing bottles and telling me to suck their dicks?
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ALLSTON? ARE YOU OKAY?
3 tags
Glassy
We’ve really only had a week of the semester so far…and every corner of Allston is covered in broken glass.
Only in Allston
Typical evening encounter: Walking down Brighton Ave towards Packards Corner, my friends are stopped and approached by a random group of girls with the following though-provoking inquiry: “Excuse me, do you think ALL cab drivers have herpes?” Not sure if anybody would ever ask me such a thing anywhere else in the city.
2 tags
BPD
Last night I saw BPD get into a house party using a battering ram…Only in Allston
3 tags
“Use condoms with those two…”
– Overheard on Gardner St
I like the way this girl thinks.
allston:
d-strong:
Allston is redic. Uhaul should sponsor a citywide holiday.
Can I Like...Try Some?
We were smoking hookah, a favorite past-time, minding our own business, when some freshman girl approaches us.
Freshman: What’s that?
One of us: Crack.
Freshman: (comes closer and lowers voice, dead serious) Can I like…try some?
One of us: Ten dollars a hit.
Another one of us: You don’t want this lifestyle.
The freshman girl walks away. Only in Allston.
4 tags
Brother Can You Spare Some...Coke?
for the past 3 years I have been asked by the same man if I have cocaine or know where to get some…around 3 or 4AM around the corner of Chester and Gardner. Never fails. Only in Allston.
3 tags
Pleasant Overflow
I was walking down CommAve towards Harvard when out of nowhere I had the pleasure of having what felt like several cups of beer dumped on my head. When I angrily cleared my face and looked up at the balcony above my head there were two chicks making out. I couldn’t be all that mad….In fact I cheered them on.
Only in Allston.
2 tags
Welcome To Allston
allston:
thesonnets:
Last night I passed out and threw up all over Allston. I think my new friends hate me. Uh oh.
3 tags
F the T
Three T’s went by today at Packards Corner. I’m 110% they were empty. They all stopped at Babcock Street. Thanks for hating Allston MBTA.
3 tags
SleepyTime
I was at one of Allston’s finest Fraternities when a girl walked right through the white picket fence lining the driveway. The fence proceeded to topple over, along with the girl. Then she proceeded to take a nap on the fence.
One of the brothers of said fraternity had to sleep-sit her.
Only in Allston.
3 tags
Saying Goodbye
“Goodbye Allston. I’ll miss all of your eccentricities - your drunk people puking outside my window, your broken bottles, your used condoms on the sidewalks. But I’ve got to move on with my life. Grow up, settle down. Don’t worry, Allston. Brookline will also treat me right. Brookline’s a great catch, and my mother loves it. Just remember the good times we had. I...
